Lately I've taken to brewing my own hootch. I've so far come up with four solid recipes that have been a hit with both beer AND wine critics. Labels for the beers themselves were not created by me, they were done by my incredibly talented buddy Barbie, whom I would link here if she had a dev account.

Going from left to right:

Goth Cigs: A clove flavored ale. Very heavy on the clove flavor, but utterly awesome none the less. Think of a liquid Neko wafer and you're on the right track. 10% alcohol.

The flavor text on the back reads:
Goth Cigs that won’t kill your lungs!
Just your liver! During his days as a troubled teenager (and later when he realized that going to Goth bars was the best all-year-round option to see ladies in nary but electrical tape and panties) our Ruggedly Handsome Brewmaster acquired a taste for Clove cigarettes.
To celebrate one of his favorite poisons, he decided to craft a fine ale with Cloves. The end result? It’s sitting in your damn hand! Drink it for God’s sake! Hurry, or else Gnomes will steal it!



Blitz'd Barbie: A cherry chocolate stout. Made with fresh cherry juice, dark chocolate, and a special stout mix of mine, this one is the big favorite with my beer lovers. It has an initial hit of slightly sour cherry at first sip, but soon goes to the dark carmelly and bitter stout. The chocolate comes towards the end of the stout flavor and moreso on the aftertaste.

The flavor text on the back reads:
Blitz’d Barbie is fucking great!
Only little womanly girly men would dare turn up their noses at this fine lass!
This beer contains the great taste of an Irish Stout so dark that it’ll put hair on your wee shallow chest, the darkest, bitterest chocolate I could find, and cherries because the woman who inspired this ale held me at tank-point until I put them in!
It’s the only beer manly enough to be named after a woman!

Sin: My cinnamon ale. This one is my personal favorite, as I managed to get a great balance between the spice flavor and that of the ale itself. Neither overwhelms the other!

The flavor text reads:
Not all sins are deadly
On his constant hunt for the odd, esoteric, and just plain illegal recipes for our brew kettle, our Ruggedly Handsome Brewmaster managed to find a small New England town that was not on any map he could find. Inside this town he was witness to horrors from beyond the realm of time and sanity, but he did manage to stop by their pub before staggering away in terror.
Therein he did find that the locals did unholy, but delicious, things with their Ale and Cinnamon.
As part of his ongoing therapy sessions, he managed to recreate this tasty brew in a safe-ish, Euclidean way for you to enjoy.

Repercussion: My "Plain Jane" ale. So far you've seen a bit of a theme in my beers, I really like playing around with spices and flavors. This ale was my attempt to get a baseline on my ale flavor, unfortunately I ended up making a rather enjoyable Belgium Brown Ale cheat instead.

The flavor text reads:
Repercussion is a wallop!
This beer contains the epitome of awesomeness: Amber goodness that only the Gods themselves should imbibe, lest it drive lesser beings to madness.
This beer will literally make you smack yourself into submission for drinking other inferior brewed delights.
Based off the Belgium Brown Ale style and tweaked to just north of perfection by our Ruggedly Handsome Brewmaster; This beer is more then up to the task of washing down that 2lb slab of ribs you just tossed down your gullet mere moments ago.